The Blue Box Blog

Emma Lou's adventures in Doctor Who fandom

Torchwood: Miracle Day “The Middle Men” Review

Posted by emmahyam on August 18, 2011

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR ALL OF TORCHWOOD

Dear reader you find me heading into this episode with a deep sense of trepidation, after the debacle of last week and some pretty negative buzz from some of my twitter chums my hopes for this one were truly at rock bottom.

Sadly they were justified, once again I greet the end of “The Middle Men” with a long sigh. Nothing happened in that episode, not a damn thing. Oh yes there was a big ‘spolsion  andVera’s incinerator met his own transition to “Category One” but aside from that what progress has been made? In episode six out of a ten part series what have we learnt? Nothing. PhiCorp are reveled as nothing more than middle men. Amazing, seeing as that was pretty clear at least two episodes ago, Oswald Danes? Totally absent, I still have no idea why hes got anything to do with this, or indeed why I should care. Torchwood’s exposure of the true purpose of the Overflow Camps achieves, you guessed it, nothing. More nondescript characters turned up to hurl information at us only to disappear, more than likely never to be seen on screen again. Its all so boring and uninspired, the show drags along at a snails pace dropping clunky dialogue in your lap like  they’re revelations from the Lord himself rather than the nuggets of tedium they really are. After episode three I reckoned they were trying to fill out a ten episode series with a plot more suited to five shows, now it feels more like a two parter stretched out to six (thus far). Theres so little to write about rather than trying to continue a review in the usual manner, I’ll transcribe the notes I made as the episode went on, I think they say it all.

  • 9.02 – How exactly have we “discovered the truth behind Miracle Day” continuity lady? We know sod all.
  • 9.04 – the “45 Club” oh great another entirely pointless group like “The Soulless”  just there for yet more padding.
  • 9.05 – PhiCorp know nothing either, this is not news.
  • 9.07 – Oh so the “45 Club” just mentioned to set up that blokes ‘suicide’.
  • 9.10 – padding, padding, padding. Vera’s murder feels like it was thrown in to fill out this show so they’d get to 10 episodes.
  • 9.16 – How are Gwen and Rhys still walking around the Cowbridge camp with impunity? Surely after blatantly trying to get her Dad out of the camp they’d have been thrown out?
  • 9.24 – Blah, blah, blah. Welcome to Talkwood.
  • 9.28 – So this is Torch-Ception then, we’re back at bleeding square 1.
  • 9.34 – Rex is exceptionally dumb.
  • 9.40 – Esther is dumb too, why not say the Senator was on the phone, you suspect him strongly of having done something pretty bad to Vera.
  • 9.45 – If Gwen can seemingly move around with impunity in the Cowbridge Camp wouldn’t it be far easier to sneak her Dad into Cat 2?
  • 9.48 – Watch out shes changed into Stealth! Gwen
  • 9.50 – There goes the budget.
  • 9.51 – Well, the show is done, the Camps are exposed…. oh FFS
  • 9.55 – Finally some consequences for them parading around using their own names.

At the end of the show I got a tweet saying that I don’t have to watch the show if its that bad. It is that bad but yet I persist, out of a sense of loyalty to the Who-niverse and in the vain hope that somehow things will turn around in the final four episodes. The teaser for show seven doesn’t really inspire, Doctor Who can’t come back soon enough.

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